Age difference in relationships: What do men and women prefer?

2025-01-14 11:04:43 / JETË ALFA PRESS

Age difference in relationships: What do men and women prefer?

Many people choose partners around their own age, but some have large age gaps in their relationships. However, there hasn't been much systematic psychological research to find out how large an age gap people prefer in a romantic relationship.

To fill this gap, a study recently published in the journal Personal Relationships investigated differences in the preferred age of men and women at the beginning of a romantic relationship (Gottfried et al., 2024). The research team, led by Jaroslav Gottfried, analyzed data from 35,999 couples, collected in 28 European countries and Israel.

What age difference do men prefer in a relationship?

Statistical analyses conducted by scientists revealed that the preferred age gap at the beginning of a new relationship depends on the gender and current age of the partners. At the age of 25, a man on average couples with a woman 3 years younger, or around 22 years old. On the other hand, a 25-year-old woman on average couples with a man 3 years older than her, or around 28 years old.

The statistical model found that the older a man gets, the more he prefers a larger age gap with his partner at the beginning of a romantic relationship. Specifically, for every additional 5 years of age, the preferred age gap increases by about 1 year.

This means that the average age a man prefers for a partner at the beginning of a relationship is approximately:

Own age 25: Partner's age 22 (difference: 3 years)

Own age 30: Partner's age 26 (difference: 4 years)

Own age 40: Partner's age 34 (difference: 6 years)

Own age 50: Partner's age 42 (difference: 8 years)

Own age 60: Partner's age 50 (difference: 10 years)

Own age 70: Partner's age 58 (difference: 12 years)

Own age 80: Partner's age 66 (difference: 14 years)

What age difference do women prefer in a relationship?

In women, a similar but less strong effect was observed after age 25. On average, for every 10 additional years of age, the preferred age difference between a woman and her partner at the beginning of a relationship increases by about 1 year. This means that the average age a woman prefers for a partner at the beginning of a relationship is approximately:

Own age 25: Partner's age 28 (difference: -3 years)

Own age 30 years: Partner's age 32.5 years (difference: -2.5 years)

Own age 40 years: Partner's age 41.5 years (difference: -1.5 years)

Own age 50 years: Partner's age 50.5 years (difference: -0.5 years)

Own age 60 years: Partner's age 59.5 years (difference: 0.5 years)

Own age 70 years: Partner's age 68.5 years (difference: 1.5 years)

Own age 80 years: Partner's age 77.5 years (difference: 2.5 years)

Initially, women prefer slightly older partners, but as they age, they increasingly prefer partners of the same age. After the age of 60, women tend to prefer partners at least slightly younger.

The older people get, the more they prefer to have a younger partner when starting a new relationship. This is true for both genders, but the statistical difference between men and women is significant, indicating that the effect is stronger for men than for women. / Psychology Today

 

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