Lajme flash
Satire/ Government postpones reward for Sali Berisha
2026-10-29 11:12:00 / POLITIKË
By Thoma Gëllçi
Satire
The Albanian government has decided to postpone indefinitely the awarding of a special reward to Sali Berisha, although the relevant commission has positively assessed his work in sabotaging the protests against Edi Rama. According to well-informed sources, Berisha has fulfilled a good part of his obligations, but has not yet achieved the main objective: the return of the protesters to their homes.
The commission has particularly appreciated his efforts to discredit the most active participants in the protests. The accusations of suitcases with euros, government agents, criminals, thieves, scoundrels, blind people, scoundrels and killers of hope have been considered a serious contribution. One member of the commission has even proposed an additional reward for enriching the Albanian political vocabulary. But the proposal has been rejected, after it was found that Berisha had used these words before, without the need for financial incentive. Another added that in today's vocabulary he had borrowed many things from Rama's vocabulary, so he did not deserve an additional reward.
Berisha's decision not to use the symbols of the Democratic Party in the student protest was also highly appreciated. The commission has called this an advanced method of appropriation, because you can call any protester without symbols a member of the DP. However, specialists have expressed concern that students continue to protest by shouting "Rama in prison - Berisha in prison", which shows that the operation is not yet yielding the desired results.
The main problem is that the protesters continue to demand the removal of Rama, but also the end of the dominance of old political figures. The commission has highly appreciated Berisha's endurance at the head of the DP, despite his advanced age. According to the commission, a resignation of Berisha (even if it is far away) from the leadership of the DP could directly lead to the removal of Rama, which would create an unacceptable vacuum in Albanian politics. Especially for Rama and Berisha themselves.
For this reason, the commission has asked Berisha to intensify attacks on the organizers of the protests, until the citizens get tired, disgusted with politics and return to their homes. In this way, Rama will continue to govern, while Berisha will continue to lead the opposition. The two will continue to denounce each other, as they have done successfully for more than thirty years.
The meeting also discussed Berisha's request that the Democratic Party be considered the only real force of the protest. The commission has agreed, on the condition that the protest no longer takes place on the streets. It has also been acknowledged that Berisha needs to continue his speeches, because stopping them could negatively affect his political situation.
Prime Minister Rama has personally intervened on this issue, and, as a sign of gratitude for Berisha's contribution, has offered the COD hall of the Council of Ministers for the organization of future speeches. The hall will be made available free of charge, along with microphones, lighting and air conditioning. The government will also ensure live broadcast, at a special time on ERTV or on the podcast "Flasim".
The commission has decided that the final reward will be given to Berisha only after the last protester has returned home.
In the meantime, Rama has approved a preliminary reward: Berisha will be given the key to the COD hall, so that he can enter and hold a speech whenever he wants.
It is understood that Sali Berisha himself has understood the postponement of the supplementary reward, which will be twice the total reward of all police officers taken together, plus the amount that Kanye West received. This is easily explained because Sali Berisha's role in suppressing the protests is far greater than that of the special forces. The reward will be given regardless of the permission to build a tower in Tirana, as big as a mountain.
The government guarantees that the postponement of the reward for Sali Berisha is temporary and in the future the decision will be signed without any obstacles.
The Albanian government has decided to postpone indefinitely the awarding of a special award to Sali Berisha, although the relevant commission has positively assessed his work in sabotaging the protests against Edi Rama. According to well-informed sources, Berisha has fulfilled a good part of his obligations, but has not yet achieved the main objective: the return of the protesters to their homes.
The commission has particularly appreciated his efforts to discredit the most active participants in the protests. The accusations of suitcases with euros, government agents, criminals, thieves, scoundrels, blind people, scoundrels and killers of hope have been considered a serious contribution. One member of the commission has even proposed an additional reward for enriching the Albanian political vocabulary. But the proposal has been rejected, after it was found that Berisha had used these words before, without the need for financial incentive. Another added that in today's vocabulary he had borrowed many things from Rama's vocabulary, so he did not deserve an additional reward.
Berisha's decision not to use the symbols of the Democratic Party in the student protest has also been highly praised. The commission has called this an advanced method of appropriation, because you can call any protester without symbols a member of the DP. However, specialists have expressed concern that students continue to protest by shouting "Rama in prison - Berisha in prison", which shows that the operation is not yet yielding the desired results.
The main problem is that the protesters continue to demand the removal of Rama, but also the end of the dominance of old political figures. The commission has highly appreciated Berisha's endurance at the head of the DP, despite his advanced age. According to the commission, a resignation of Berisha (even if it is far from it) from the leadership of the DP could directly lead to the removal of Rama, which would create an unacceptable vacuum in Albanian politics. Especially for Rama and Berisha themselves.
For this reason, the commission has asked Berisha to intensify attacks on the organizers of the protests, until the citizens get tired, disgusted with politics and return to their homes. In this way, Rama will continue to govern, while Berisha will continue to lead the opposition. Both will continue to denounce each other, as they have done successfully for more than thirty years.
The meeting also discussed Berisha's request that the Democratic Party be considered the only real force of the protest. The commission agreed, on the condition that the protest no longer take place in the streets. It was also acknowledged that Berisha needs to continue his speeches, as stopping them could negatively affect his political standing.
Prime Minister Rama has personally intervened on this issue, and, as a sign of gratitude for Berisha's contribution, has offered the COD hall of the Council of Ministers for the organization of future speeches. The hall will be made available free of charge, along with microphones, lighting and air conditioning. The government will also ensure live broadcast, at a special time on ERTV or on the podcast "Flasim".
The commission has decided that the final reward will be given to Berisha only after the last protester has returned home.
Meanwhile, Rama has approved a preliminary reward: Berisha will be given the key to the COD hall, so he can enter and speak whenever he wants.
It is understood that Sali Berisha himself has understood the postponement of the supplementary reward, which will be twice the total reward of all police officers taken together, plus the amount that Kanye West received. This is easily explained because Sali Berisha's role in suppressing the protests is far greater than that of the special forces. The reward will be given regardless of the permission to build a tower in Tirana, as big as a mountain.
The government guarantees that the postponement of the reward for Sali Berisha is temporary and that the decision will be signed without any obstacles in the future.
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